I Was Broken

  I decided that I wanted to start writing in my blog again. I haven't written in it in about two years, when I was traveling in South East Asia. However, to my frustration I just couldn't access and get back into my former blog, therefore I decided--just create a new one and well, here we are. I really don't know if anyone will actually read this, or even how long I will write diligently in this blog, but lets give it a try.

I wanted to begin with being a bit vulnerable, sharing myself.  I've realized over time that I am my biggest critic. I judge everything I do or don't do--and I have lived my life this way for a long time.  I am that person Charles Horton Cooley talks about in his sociological theory of the Looking Glass Self. This is where a person derives their image of themselves based on how they believe others see them. I have and had created my image based on I thought how others saw me. I have not allowed myself to participate in activities, dress a certain way, voice opinions in class, all for the fear of looking stupid, or sounding uneducated. I have rejected so much of life for not believing I was worthy or good enough.

Right now I'm in a better place, I can say that who I am today is a stronger, more confident woman. I have a lot of emotional scars, and I carry them with me. I won't hide my past, I won't hide who I once was, but that person is not who I am today.

My thought for today...will my self-confidence/image struggles impact my niece or future daughter? How will my negative words of myself influence women around me, mothers, daughters, sisters, cousins? Perhaps I need to choose better words to uplift myself. 

 

When I look at myself in the mirror I will say that I am beautiful, I am loved. I have learned to love myself for who I am right now, but I want to continue to grow, and become a better woman. 

My daily Mantra: 

·          Today, I set my own limitations. I decide what I am capable of, and

I constantly remind myself that I am capable of much more than I usually believe I am.

·          I will Change how I see, not how I look.

·          Today I will celebrate all that my body can do for me each day.

·          I deserve to be loved and I allow myself to be loved as I am.

·          Today I present my love, passion, talent and joy as a gift to the world.

·          Today I love my body fully, deeply and joyfully.

·         "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." – Plato

This song is amazing. I found it via To Write Love on Her Arms blog. It is by Marcus Foster and I think his voice is chilling. I cry when I hear this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI_pPEysgYQ